Have you ever been silenced by your own broken? Like been so miserable with your very own messy broken, that you felt like you should stop speaking to your very own messy self?? Ugh.
Some days this happens to me. Some days I just cannot take my own mess and I think, “Wellll…this time you’ve gone too far. Yep, you have just seriously blown it and finally crossed the line of no return with that one and, well…you may never be able to right this one, honestly.”
Like, when I’ve yelled at my kid until I’ve lost my voice, or worse, my mind. Or, when I’ve spoken words of venomous poison to someone I love, knowing full well there was no antidote to that sort of venom. Or, when I cannot seem to speak what should be spoken because of fear or pride or both. Or, when I simply share too much of my own broken, instead of offer ears of love to another. Or, when my very own thoughts break my very own heart and I cannot seem to break those very habits that break my own spirit. Or, I just plain break down staring into the truth of me, because, well…I just can’t take the person I see staring back. And, yeah…that’s the whole messy truth some months, weeks or days. Or, this very day. Or, this very moment.
But, do you know what? JESUS. That’s what. Or, more specifically, WHO.
Because, did you know that when He was sitting in the Garden of Gethsemane, sweating drops of blood while crying out to His Father to take the Cup of Wrath He was to receive the very next day on that Cross of Calvary, His thoughts drifted to you and to me and He said, “Yet, not my will, but Yours, be done.”? And, when He was being falsely accused during His trial, again He thought of you and of me and didn’t speak a word in His defense. Then, when He was beaten beyond all recognition, spit upon and mocked, His thoughts drifted to you and to me and He kept His silent obedience. And, after all that, when He was forced to carry the cross up the hill to Calvary and was nailed to that very cross so He could suffer death as the worst of criminals, His thoughts came back again to you and me, and He remained there in complete surrender and agony. And, finally, as he cried out with some of His last breaths while bearing all the weight and wages of the sins of the world, “My God my God, why have You forsaken me?” His thoughts drifted, yet again, to you and to me, and He knew.
He knew about This. Very. Day. He knew about all my broken and saw all the breaking I would do to others and to myself. He knew the whole entire messy truth of me and he sat in silent obedience while he was praying and sweating blood… and while he was falsely accused, tried, and convicted by his own people… and while he was beat, spat on, and mocked… and while he was forced to carry – and bear death upon – That. Very. Cross. He knew my mess and sin and, yet, silently, chose to BECOME that very sin in order for me to become one with Him and His Father.
So, this messy, broken moment or day or week or month does not surprise Him. Not at all. He went to That Cross on the Mount of Calvary knowing this messy moment would eventually come and unfortunately, continue to come, again and again sometimes. He saw every last one of them, actually. Yet, He willingly came and hung on that cross, with my name and mess on His heart.
And, because He became sin, mine does not come to Him as a surprise. And, because He came to take away the sins of the whole world, that still includes mine… and hers… and his… and theirs… and those, over there… and YOURS.
He included you and He knew your name and He knows your name.
He has taken up His Cross to overcome death and bury your shame so you don’t have to carry that burden. So, cry out to Him who reveals this truth, to forgive you and receive you. He only asks you to believe that It. Is. Finished. Then you can silently keep yourself in Him who is keeping you all to Himself, by the silent power that overcame sin and the grave.
Be at rest and be silently blessed